


Silence isn't Golden, it's Made of Living Metal

by ravenwyck



Category: Deadpool (Movieverse), Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: All Metal, All the time, Bloodplay, Choking, Deadpool 2 Spoilers, Desert Eagle, Dubious Consent, Feelings, Gun Care, Gun Kink, Hypothetical Missing Scene, I can't be trusted, M/M, Masochism, POV shift, Poolossus, Questionable Lube Choices, Service Top (ish), Size Difference, Size Kink, Superpower Appropriate Refractory Period, Trouser Cannon, a little fluffier than it sounds, attempted Somnophilia, because, but not really, but probably not how you think, it wasn't supposed to be like this, overuse of the word Deagle, safe unsafe sex, silence kink?, sorta but just a smidge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-26 21:24:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15009743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravenwyck/pseuds/ravenwyck
Summary: Deadpool and Colossus share a quiet evening together.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I swear that this was not what I thought I was going to write when I sat down to do this.  
> It was just supposed to be a few words of plotless not-quite-smut and somehow I ended up here.
> 
> On Movie Spoilers: This story was designed to be a moment in time which could have occurred between existing scenes. While the story does not focus on the events of the movie, it does reference major plot spoiling points from Deadpool 2 as they speak to Wade Wilson’s overall state of mind at the time of the scene. 
> 
> On SPaG: My one and only, amazing beta reader has not seen Deadpool 2, so I could not dream of asking her to give this a look. I have been left to my own devices on this one and I apologize for any errors you may find.
> 
> Please see the end notes for additional content explanations and disclaimers.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deadpool enjoys polishing his guns.  
> He also considers polishing other things.

Wade sat on the floor, legs crossed. The My Little Pony t-shirt he’d “borrowed” from one of the rooms was dingy and maybe his Spiderman boxers were too. It didn’t matter. It had already been established that the studio was too cheap to even throw in some filler students for his stay, who was he going to upset? His pair of Deagles sat on a pad in front of him surrounded by cleaning supplies. He’d already field stripped one of them and he itched with eagerness to get inside the Deagle’s most intimate spaces.

Who’d started calling them that, anyway? Deagle. It was a silly nickname for a gun. He liked it, sure. But, it was like if guns were puppies. Like Beagle, except, the Desert Eagle wasn’t really like a Beagle at all. It was more Rottweiler or a huge Great Dane. A RottDaneler? Whatever. They were Deagles, and they were massive (he probably wasn’t overcompensating or anything) and deadly and, really, kind of beautiful in their metal magnificence. And, they hadn’t been cleaned since the Russian scout master had dragged his random bits back to boy band headquarters. Well, the guns hadn’t actually been used since then. Someone had taken away all of his ammo, anyway. He glared towards the bed above him where he could see two articulated metal feet jutting above the thick bedspread. Silently Wade stuck his tongue out.  But, explosions were hard on a firearm. Or not too hard, apparently. Amazingly, the guns seemed as indestructible as he was. No obvious damage. And, the rhythm and routine of maintenancing his Deagles was nice. Or, as nice as things got, these days.

_The brush moved through the bore, sliding with a steady in/out motion. But, only a handful of times, any more and you’re just playing with it. Though, playing with_ it _could be nice too. His breath quickened with the motion, but he didn’t overthink it. He could feel the friction of the brass wire’s path vibrate in his fingertips through his grip on the barrel. Or, maybe that was just the sting of the solvent on his ungloved hands. It wasn’t awful, kind of tingly actually. Removing the bore brush, he switched to a lightly soaked pad, sliding it through just once before removing it from the rod on the other side. In the light of a pilfered desk lamp his eyes sparkled with intensity as he examined every millimeter of the piece he was holding. His mind continued to drift as he worked, moving to a dry pad to remove excess solvent._

Mostly, life was still all a giant shit storm of cycling between pain and numbness. _I mean, would you be all sunshine and happy time rainbows after you’d lost the only person who’d ever love you and then found out that you couldn’t even manage to die and eventually see them again?_ He was allowed to wallow. Mr. Metal Nice Guy didn’t think so and he’d been on about it all day. But, he _had_ been nice actually, more than nice, almost like he cared. Sure, sure. The Great and Morally Upstanding Colossus was just doing what was right. But, Wade Wilson wasn’t the only “misguided soul” in the world. Yet, somehow, Wade was the one he’d picked. He didn’t understand that, certainly didn’t deserve the consideration. It was true nonetheless. And maybe, he _was_ wallowing, and being completely morose, but just at the moment, he sort of appreciated the idea. He was completely fucked and Colossus was _there_ , time and again no matter how much the steely eyed and oversized do-gooder scowled at him. And so, Wade was _here_ , hanging out in Kumbaya Land. And he was even on his best behavior. Okay, so he may or may not have been involved in the incident that forced them to drain the pool and maybe he had been a shithead all day. But, right now he really was on his best behavior. _See how there hasn’t been any actual dialogue in this story?_ Quiet Wade. That’s like bonus multiplier good.

_He smirked as he worked the_ reamer head _of his tool back and forth inside the gas cylinder. Taking the time thoroughly ream your cylinder was important, after all. A q-tip this time to clean out the solvent. He took a moment to savor the way the hard, cold steel warmed in his hand. With reverrent efficiency, he continued to inspect and clean each bit and part. The glisten of gun oil made his breath catch as he made sure each piece was well coated. Not too well coated, mind you, there were in fact situations where you could use too much lube._

There had been talking at first, of course there had. Even if it had been mostly Wade. But, now, The World’s Hardest Softie was sleeping or ignoring him. Probably ignoring him. And normally, that would just make Wade want to talk even more. But, even after going at it with him all day he _had_ still opened the door. And he hadn’t really complained when Wade had charged in demanding his shit; grumbling about the time didn’t count. And Wade’s guns had been here, the cleaning kit too. And, the only thing he’d been firm about, other than his ass (because, sooo firm), was not talking. And in the wake of that, he could, probably, be quiet enough to let Buns of Steel get some beauty rest, not that he actually needed it.

_Flipping the slide over, he cradled it in his scarred hand as he pressed the piston into position. His fingers had stopped burning. He almost missed the sensation, but running his fingertips along the ridges of the recoil spring assembly was still nice and his vision glazed for a moment before he snapped his attention back on the task. The dual springs popped back into place easily as he pushed the slide back onto the frame. His cock twitched as the barrel rotated smoothly back into the slide. His hand slid along the ridge, cupping around the tip, index finger slowly tracing circles around the hole before pushing the barrel into place. There was another series sympathetic twitches as he racked the slide several times to make sure the action was smooth and everything was in place. His grip on the gun was firm to keep the motion quiet. The Deagle required a strong hand. By the time he reached for the silicone polishing cloth his cock was more than half hard. And, maybe, MAYBE, he rubbed the unforgiving mass of metal against his crotch for just a moment._

_The gun gleamed in the concentrated light as he lovingly ran the cloth around it, rubbing away the last of the excess fluids and giving it that final protective polish. It really was a beautiful thing. It was too big to be practical, everyone agreed. They just didn’t know how to handle the power. He knew. He loved that power. Each squeeze of the trigger hit like a punch in the gut. But, he could take it, so he did. His now fully hard dick throbbed and his hand twitched at the memory of the sensation. He racked the slide without catching it just to hear the sound. The small click seemed almost deafening in the cocooning silence of the bedroom. On the bed, Colossus shifted, drawing his attention from the gun. If he lifted his head, he could just make out the bulking shape of the sleeping man’s legs, so he did. He held his breath. It was dark in the room, but the lamps light played off the armored ridges of Colossus’ bulking muscles creating a dull gleam; like his Deagles, massive and potentially deadly and really kind of beautiful in their metal magnificence. He bit his lip, staring down at the polishing cloth in his hand. Did a man made of metal have to worry about rust? Weapons should be taken care of, and his muscles were weapons, even if he didn’t choose to use them that way. He held himself still, frozen, until he was convinced that the man on the bed really was actually asleep after all._ _Carefully, so carefully he lifted himself off the floor. Curiosity and compulsion taking over, he didn’t fight the instinct. Hard Body wouldn’t notice a few swipes of the cloth. He was silent; a spy, no an assassin, no a_ ninja _. Cloth in one hand, gun still in the other, he stalked towards the bed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On Deadpool’s Guns:   
> Although they are not the only weapons he uses, in both movies, Deadpool heavily favors a pair of Desert Eagles. IWI Desert Eagle Mark XIX chambered in .50 AE, according to the internet movie firearms database (which, is totally a thing).  
> The Desert Eagle, especially .50AE, is a ridiculously overpowered and unyielding thing. Seriously, unless you’re defending yourself from a bear (or supervillains) you will never need this much gun. Experts tend to agree that it is one of the most expensive and impractical non-custom pistols that you could own. So, why would anyone pick this as their firearm of choice?   
> Well...  
> First, while said ‘experts’ tend to agree on its expense and impracticality, they also mostly report that it is one of the most fun shooting experiences they’ve ever had and one they would look forward to repeating again and again. Well, those experts who didn’t let the sheer power of the recoil overwhelm them, giving the gun the opportunity to either jam or physically wound them, at any rate. Feel the Power!  
> And, secondly, there is just something movie magical about the sheer badassery and mystique of this over-the-top weapon.  
> As Bullet Tooth Tony (Snatch) once said:  
> “The fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your gun. (draws his gun), and the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O" written on the side of mine, should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... Fuck off.”  
> Even though I did still leave things out, this wasn’t actually supposed to be as specifically gun related as it is. I am not a gun expert and for anyone who is, I apologize if you find this piece fraught with mistakes. I am just a person with too much curiosity and time and resource access who sometimes finds that a side note ends up hijacking a story.  
> Also, I didn’t make up the word deagle, that’s really a thing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colossus pretends to be asleep, until he doesn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is written from the perspective of Colossus.  
> That is one of the things that I didn't intend to happen.  
> Unfortunately, when I started writing, I found that Colossus had thoughts that insisted on being expressed.
> 
> Characters sometimes run wild on me, but I hope you enjoy where they've led.

Piotr listened to the barely there sounds coming from the only pool of light in the room. Knowing Wade was there made the silence feel like a trap. Deadpool did not do quiet. They had already argued all day. It was exhausting just listening to the man talk. But, for now he seemed genuinely content just to have his weapons back in his hands. This late, it was better not to look a gift horse in the mouth. So, Piotr was enjoying the tentative peace, not quite sleeping, but letting his mind drift in the quiet darkness.

It was easy to write off Wade Wilson. Most of the other X-men couldn’t stand to be near him. Most people couldn’t stand to be near him. He was naturally abrasive and obnoxious at the best of times and downright rude for the rest. That was just how he interacted with people, socially. He was also violent, reckless, selfish, and his overall judgement was questionable at every turn. He had no respect for laws or personal property or even, to an extent, life itself. He intentionally killed, sometimes on a seeming whim. As Wade himself proclaimed frequently, he was not a hero. But, Piotr knew that he _could_ be. It wasn’t something he could explain, not even to himself. He’d tried. It wasn’t pity that moved him. Duty didn’t quite explain it either. He just couldn’t let the feeling go. Without understanding why, he genuinely believed in Wade’s goodness on a level that he just could not ignore or make his comrades understand. He’d spent hours explaining why he was going to bring the man here and hours again defending the decision. They still didn’t understand, but, how could he not? Wade may well be all the horrible things people said about him. Piotr had seen it for himself. But, he also had a good heart, redeemable and almost beautiful. How could he turn his back on that? Right now, Piotr could see that he was lost, hurt, and alone. And if he could be there for the man now, perhaps Wade would see that not only was his life still worth living still, but, maybe, he could find his way to a better path.

He was still insufferable, though, beating Piotr’s door down in the middle of the night, demanding to know where his guns were. But, even that was an improvement. He hadn’t cared for days. Hadn’t eaten. Annoying or not, his brash and unapologetic entrance was much more like his normal self and Piotr’s heart had been gladdened to see it. Most of the man’s weaponry had not survived the blast. But, Wade had known that his guns were among the ruined outfit that he wouldn’t let anyone throw away. He just couldn’t find them when he’d finally decided to give them a look over. Contrary to the initial accusation, Piotr hadn’t stolen them. He bristled at the thought. It was the rules of the mansion that any weapons were kept in the armory when not being utilized for training or missions. That didn’t explain why he’d been keeping the pair in his room, nor why he’d gone out of his way to procure cleaning materials from the armory instead of putting the guns in it. Wade hadn’t thought to ask. Which was good, because it was another thing he didn’t have an answer for.

A sound drew Piotr from his thoughts. Not loud, but distracting in the carefully constructed stillness. He could feel the weight of Wade’s gaze as it shifted to him, but he kept his eyes sealed shut. If he didn’t realize that Piotr was awake, maybe they could continue to share this companionable moment. Wade was here. He was safe, he wasn’t trying to kill anyone, and he wasn’t trying to destroy himself. He was also on the bed. Piotr felt the weight of the mattress shift as Wade’s weight settled between his feet. He still hadn’t spoken.

The first touch was feather light. Piotr sensed more than felt it. Not Wade’s hand, not directly. Fabric. It slid along the ridge of his shin, up, around to his naked calf. Piotr suddenly regretted not putting on something more than his boxers when the smaller man had decided to stay. But, he was frozen by the uncharacteristically tentative touch. The cloth continued to make slow deliberate circles on the metallic muscles of his leg. He should stop Wade now, whatever he was doing. Something about the soft intake of breath that accompanied the motion of the cloth as it slid back down his leg and then up over his knee made Piotr hesitate. It was the wrong move. Emboldened by Piotr’s lack of response something touched deep along the inside of his other thigh, not the cloth or Wade’s hand. It slide along his armored skin, hard and with no sense of warmth, teasing at the rim of the leg of his boxers before sliding underneath, prodding gently but unyieldingly at his intimate parts.

Piotr’s hand lashed out, at both the intrusion and the realization of what the object was, squeezing as it found purchase in what was apparently Wade’s throat. “Wade Wilson! You…” He was thankful for the darkness, sure that in this moment that even metal could blush. His steel gaze drifted to the small man’s hand. “With a gun?!?” The sounds came as almost a whisper, but were thick with incredulity. His own reaction made him pause, eyes flashing between anger, confusion, and something he recognized but rarely acknowledged that he felt, _lust_. Was he mad that Wade had touched him or was he mad that he’d used a gun?

“It’s empty.” Wade choked out weakly in defense. His shoulders shrugged around the strangling hold. It didn’t matter that Piotr knew that already. Though, he wouldn’t have been surprised if Wade had come up with ammo from who knows where. Wade wouldn’t really hurt him, but that wasn’t the point. Piotr yanked the man up by his grip on his throat, until he could stare into his eyes. It was once again the wrong move. The motion dragged the man up the length of his thick legs and along his abdomen, bringing the their shafts together in a tight friction. Wade gasped, eyes glazing before locking onto Piotr’s opaque gaze. He didn’t try to support his weight, letting his body hang from Piotr’s fist instead, pushing into it as the fingers reflexively flinched. “If I apologize for prodding you with my gun, will you keep prodding me with yours?” Colossus was surprised at how smoothly the words came out despite the pressure on his windpipe. Piotr’s _gun_ twitched and Wade’s eyes flashed. He grinned, an almost childish thing. Deliberately, Piotr slowly closed his grip, forcing a groan from the smaller man’s lips as tried to rub his unsupported body against Piotr’s crotch. His fingers loosened and Wade gasped in air. The cloth had been lost at some point, but his empty palm pressed to Piotr’s chest to catch his weight. Some mixture of vulnerability and disappointment flashed across his face.

They were already long past the point at which Piotr should have put a stop to this, but he still didn’t shove him away. His hand was still curled around Wade’s throat, thumb caressing the bruised skin, but the man didn’t pull away. They stared at each other in the near darkness, with only quiet breaths filling the silent space. Piotr couldn’t pull away, but he was sure that he didn’t want to commit to this moment, to the thing he felt but denied, not with Wade. Time stretched, but It couldn’t hold. Not with Wade. “So, uh, this isn’t awkward or anything. So, I’m just going to-” He waved his gun gracelessly toward the door, but Piotr cut him off.

“Shut up, Wade.”

The grown man in the My Little Pony shirt shifted to pull away, but the metal fist maintained its hold. Wade wasn’t really looking at him any more, but his mouth kept moving.

“This is a dream.” Wade waved his gun-toting hand “mystically” in the air as he exaggerated his voice into long lilting sounds for effect. “Just a hooorrible dream and if you close-”

“Shut.”

“Your eyes, you’ll--”

“Up.”

Piotr’s grip on his throat tightened once again, pulling Wade down to smash their mouths together and shut him up. It wasn’t a gentle thing, his flesh was unforgiving against the softness of Wade’s lips, but he didn’t let up and Wade didn’t fight. This was a stupid, stupid idea and Piotr wasn’t going to let himself remember that by allowing Wade to speak. The fingers of Piotr’s free hand traced the scarred surface of the man’s arm, strong and well built, but dwarfed in comparison to his own. He seized Wade’s wrist, pulling the gun away from where it had started to make small, slow circles up his side and then across the small rounded bumps of his armored nipples. Wade dragged himself away from the kiss to watch the gun’s massive grip disappear into Piotr’s even more massive hand. He whined, licking his lips, eyes following the gun’s path. Piotr clicked his tongue as he reached out to deposit the thing on the nightstand.

“You are a degenerate, Wade Wilson.” The man opened his mouth, probably to agree; the lopsided grin was back, but Piotr smothered it with another kiss, a clash of lip and teeth, finally releasing his throat to grip the back of his neck. For his part, Wade resumed grinding against him, the pads of his fingers tracing each armored ridge in his ribs, his hardness trying to bury itself against Piotr’s unyielding stomach. This was beyond madness, and Piotr should put a stop to it now, should have stopped already. Wade would likely not regret this in the morning. Piotr regretted it already. That he was not the virgin Wade thought, did not mean he believed in _casual_ sex. But, he wanted this and there was something more than pleasure in the smaller man’s wide-eyed gaze, something that still looked too much like heartbreak and despair. The responding ache in Piotr, bittersweet and distantly nostalgic, could not be ignored. He deepened the kiss, tongue pushing forward in a move that was more eagerness than skill. Of all the people in the world, it had to be Wade Wilson. But, there would be time enough for regret tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter will probably end up as long as both these first two chapters together. I kind of apologize for that. But, the consolation prize as that it should be complete later today.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colossus gives Wade what he wants and enjoys doing it.

He _was_ actually a degenerate and several worse things besides. But, that was okay because he was kissing motherfucking _Colossus_. Wade knew he was sleeping or he’d ended up in a parallel universe or he’d finally completely cracked and this was all part of some delusion. As far as going crazy went, there were worse ways to go. It had to be that because, he was here, on top of Colossus, his skin smooth and hard. Really hard. All the Hard. So much. Wade squeezed all that hard. The lack of give made him shudder and the probing metal tongue was yanked from his mouth as the man arched against his hand. “I didn’t realize we were playing who has the biggest gun. But, you definitely win.” That was cheesy, but his head was swimming with the idea that this was actually happening and he hadn’t been thrown across the room yet. The massive body beneath him practically vibrated with contained energy, but his arms roamed gently across Wade’s back as he wiggled his body lower to feel the small cannon against his cock again. When, finally, his own impossibly hard length was sliding against Colossus’ not-so-mini colossus, they both groaned and Wade shifted to free their cocks from the layers of material that kept them apart. “Is that a WMD in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?” He could feel the moment when the larger man’s composure snapped, like a ripple through the plating of his skin. Instinctively, Wade relaxed his body. Once you’ve hit enough walls, you learn that tensing up only makes it worse.

The air rushed out of his lungs as his back rebounded from the impact. Wade didn’t have time to recover from the shock of finding he’d only been flipped and not hurled before The Chrome Bara Prince was hovering over him, head dipped low to press close to the side of his head. “Stop talking _now_.” The lust thickened accent skated across his already over sensitive nerves. Iron teeth nipped at the shell of his ear with increasing pressure until finally his mouth opened on a gasp. Two oversized digits slid between his parted lips. Wade choked on the suddenness before greedily rolling his tongue around the forced compromise. This was way better than talking anyway. This was like sucking on a double barrel, and that imagery was as nice as the sensation and his cock twitched in agreement.

Wade’s hand grasped blindly for the waistband of the man’s boxers, tugging and pushing to free the massive member still hidden beneath. It was a hard fight, distracted by the fingers that never left his mouth and the large hand that fell to his own waist, yanking his own boxers down in a single forceful pull. His painfully aching penis pulled with the fabric before finally popping free to slap against his own body. The sting was lost to the trail of wet bites that Colossus was leaving down his throat. He couldn’t be blamed for the whine that escaped when he realized his fist couldn’t close around the length now in his hand. Teeth sank into his shoulder as he squeezed.  
  
Colossus still held his weight carefully over Wade’s body, but his dick was long and thick and it only took a slight arch to get it to fit against his. It took both hands to hold them together as he rocked his body up into the larger man. Wade felt small under the giant’s roaming palm, shuddering as the huge fist drifted to fit around his own, dwarfing his smaller grip. The pace he set was almost too much. Wade writhed, trapped beneath the man and his overly large hands. It still wasn’t enough and Wade bit down hard on the fingers in his mouth, his teeth ached with the effort, but reluctantly the fingers slid away from his mouth trailing saliva in its wake. “Fuck me.” Both an exclamation and a demand and Wade intended to be quiet, but that part didn’t count.   
  
Colossus’ head shot up and his eyes narrowed. It was hard to decipher the meaning behind the swirling mercury effect of his pupiless orbs. But, that unyielding mouth crashed into his again and Wade opened his own mouth wantonly, pushing as much of his body up into the larger man as he could before suddenly the man pulled up and away. His T-shirt was yanked off before he could figure out what was going on. He could have been a doll, for all that his weight mattered to the larger man. There was another shift of weight and suddenly he was naked in all of his scarred ‘glory’ and Colossus’ own genuinely glorious naked body was pushing its way between his legs. Wade bit his lip deeply to keep from ruining this moment with his mouth. He reached out, but a single hand caught both his wrists pinning them above his head. The other hand drifted along his body, barely caressing his weeping cock before sliding further down, along his balls and deeper between his legs. One blunt finger pressed tauntingly against his hole and Wade quivered and struggled to get it inside him, but the massive man held him in place using only his weight and refused to give in. It took several moments, or maybe minutes, for Wade to finally look up. Seeing the man’s brows knit together, he looked like he was battling something, maybe himself and Wade froze. That was a bad look. That was a “we’re going to stop now” look and this couldn’t stop, not yet and not like this. And he had to tell Colossus not to stop, that he couldn’t leave him like this and he opened his mouth to tell him all the reasons that this was true and all that came out was a single word, barely recognizable as himself. “Please.” He whined.   
  
Something in the larger man broke and his weight sagged, mouth coming back to worry at his ear. “I have nothing for doing _this_ … and I don’t want to hurt you.” There was a pause and Wade strained to hear the sound of the words that followed even as the breath of it blew across his skin. “Too much.” And suddenly, Wade understood and the tension in his own body released. Not second thoughts, he almost laughed in his relief. But, he didn’t, that would probably be too much. His lips already hurt from biting them into them in an attempt to not ruin this fragile moment with his usual banter. Maybe, he should consider the implications of a man in this day and age not having any supplies for sex. But, when a hunk of metal hunk was willing, yet unprepared, it was hard to think of anything but how to make it happen. And, this was a problem he could fix, if the solution didn’t also frighten the skittish giant away.   
  
“At the end of the bed, if it hasn’t been kicked.” His voice was husky with the thought of what the other man would find and whether it would be a dealbreaker. It would be, but Wade was beyond avoiding the suggestion. Colossus didn’t ask any questions, just let go of him long enough to shift, hand digging blindly into the heavy comforter. Wade didn’t dare to move, even when the man’s attention returned, shifting between him and the small orange bottle cradled in his palm.   
  
“This is for cleaning guns.” It wasn’t quite a question. His brows reflected dim light as they knit together again.   
  
Tension coiled in Wade’s gut, his pupils blown, voice thin and foreign to his own ears. “It’s for _lubricating_ them.” He hadn’t been thinking of it as lube when he’d carried the product from the floor. He’d just wondered what it would look like gleaming against armored skin. Somehow, the dream had lasted this long, but this would be too much, even for an imagined version of the Tin Man. This was the moment when it would all come to an end and he braced himself for it. But, Colossus just nodded and popped the cap, pouring a drop on his finger, watching as he smoothed it against the pad of his thumb. Wade may have lost a little bit more of his mind at the sight and just as he realized that he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from talking about what a great idea this was slick fingers squeezed his jaw. The sharp glare interrupted his thoughts and he remembered that he wasn’t supposed to speak. Tall, Dark, and Tanky was a sadist and keeping his thoughts to himself was almost more torture than Wade could bear. He strained around the tight grip, tongue darting out to lick the thumb near his mouth. He was rewarded when it loosened its hold to rub across his lower lip. He could taste the petroleum as it coated his tongue, but it didn’t matter, Wade sucked the fat digit gratefully and greedily into his mouth. It was important not to talk with your mouth full after all. But, it pulled away as quickly as it entered with a quiet pop.   
  
“If you want me to… _fuck you_ , you’ll have to be quiet without it.” Wade could feel the tension that preceded the two small words, could tell they were slow and uncomfortable to draw out, foreign on the Mutant Swear Jar’s tongue. It was also possibly the hottest thing anyone ever said, ever. There should be fireworks and someone should check the thermostat because Hell was probably about to freeze over and it might not stop down there. And he almost said so and a bunch of other things too. Instead it was him who smashed their mouths together this time, rubbing himself against the expanse of body over him like a cat. His silence was rewarded by the reappearance of the orange bottle and his unforgivably ignored penis wept in response.   
  
A single slick finger teased at his entrance again, and he was too impatient and no one was holding him down and he shifted his hips forcing himself to bear into the intrusion and the digit slipped inside. Too thick, too fast, it didn’t stop him. The burn was exquisite, pleasure but also pain, and Wade hissed against the tree trunk of Colossus’ throat, thankful that he too seemed too far gone to stop. The dam had broken on his self control and too soon another finger joined the first. It was too much. Wade reached to gain some relief through his dick, only then did one large hand once again capture first one wrist then the other, trapping them over his head. He whined, trying to buck his hips, but the freight containers that were Colossus’ thighs shifted against his legs effectively pinning him in place. Steel lips captured his scream as the fingers inside him curled and pressed, hard and unforgiving, turning the world white. He came; hot, white streams splashing against a chrome plated chest.

The fingers never stopped as Wade rode them through his orgasm and his body spasmed through the oversensitivity and it was perfect, but it wasn’t enough. And somehow the man above him knew what he wanted, what he _needed_ , and a third finger was already pushing its way in. Too slow to cause damage, too fast not to hurt. The thing about regeneration was that you never stopped feeling the pain, but once you’d felt enough of it (and Wade had felt a LOT), your relationship with it tended to change. And his cock was already hard again, because, the other thing about regeneration. He wanted to tell Colossus to fuck him already, but now he was beyond the ability to talk and when he opened his mouth he could only gasp as the intruding fingers pulled out of his ass.

Wade didn’t realize he’d lost the feeling in his hands until the blood rushed back as his wrists were released. The kiss this time was short, but almost sweet; the barest meeting of tongues before Colossus nipped at his lip. “Watch,” he growled as he uncurled his body enough to allow Wade to tilt his head. In the space between their bodies Colossus fisted his own massive cock. It throbbed in his hand as he worked dribbled gun oil along its length. His free hand continued to pour. It dripped between his fingers as he slowly stroked. It was deliberate and almost languid. When Wade finally managed to tear his eyes away to look up he was met with a smirk. Who knew that Colossus could smirk? He had a joke about that, but before he could say his hips were yanked up, legs pressed back, exposing a hole that must already look well fucked. Wade hardly noticed that the smirk was gone as the dripping metal monstrosity that was Colossus’ cock nudged against his still under-stretched hole.

He didn’t thrust, but the excruciating, slow slide of his massive shaft seared through Wade’s nerves. Reflexively he tightened up and the pain increased. The movement paused and one hand moved from his thigh to cup the side of his face, grabbing his attention before slipping down to caress his throat. “You can take it. We both know you want to.” Wade nodded, clinging to the man’s enormous shoulders. His cry was cut off by the fingers that clamped around his windpipe as Colossus finished seating himself in a single quick thrust. Wade choked on his own breath as the grip on his throat eased, finally moving to join it’s partner in tightly gripping hips. Impatiently, Wade flexed his ass as the bigger man tried to give him time to adjust. Swirling pools of metal locked on his gaze as the huge cock slid out of him. For a moment he was desperately empty before a hand enveloped his hardness and Colossus’ hips snapped forward filling him in an instant. He felt raw and over stretched, whimpering as the massive man jacked him off in time to the careful rocking of his hips, the movements shallow but deep inside, scraping his prostate with each glide. It was too intense. Within moments Wade bit into his knuckle, only muffled moans escaping, as he tumbled over the edge again. 

Wade sobbed for breath. Above him, Colossus had stopped moving. He was still a steel bar buried inside him, but he held Wade gently. The burn had faded to an amazing but still overwhelming sensation of being more full than he’d ever been in his life. Remembering he had hands, Wade used them to tug the giant into a kiss. Colossus tasted like iron and pennies and, wait no, that was blood from his knuckle. But, that was okay because the big man didn’t seem to mind. Experimentally, he lifted his hips and was rewarded as a groan poured into his mouth. He hadn’t realized the hand was still wrapped around his softened cock until cool air teased the wet skin.   
  
Suddenly, Wade was too empty and it was an awful and desperate feeling, but Colossus had already rolled him to his stomach. Wade had always been a quick learner and he tucked his knees under him to raise his ass high in the air. And thank fuck, the man slammed back inside him before he could beg. He’d been ready to beg. He still might. The bones of his shoulder creaked when strong fingers dug in for leverage as Colossus pushed his legs further apart. Wade pressed his cheek to the mattress, fists tangling in the loose bedding, as the silver schlong bottomed out with each rough thrust. He spoke then, a long string of fuck and yes and please and maybe just wordless sounds, but an arm slipped under his body, cradling his weight. The taste of his own cum filled his mouth carried on the fingers that cut off his words. Colossus leaned back dragging Wade’s body upright with the motion, back sliding along the hardened metal chest as gravity pulled him impossibly further down on the colossal cock.

Colossus thrust his hips upwards and Wade felt weightless clinging to the strong arms that held him in place. Tears leaked from the corners of his eyes in answer to the brutal pace. Gasping against the fingers that still invaded his mouth, his back arched with each powerful thrust. The movements were erratic and frantic in speed and Wade could feel the tension building in the body beneath him. Fingertips that were too smooth and too unyielding to be flesh rolled and tugged at his nipple. His abused hole flexed and clenched against the dick inside him and it was too much for both of them and he moaned at the way Colossus swelled even more inside of him, slamming against Wade’s prostate with bruising force as his climax shook his body. Wade was too raw and strung too tight and he could feel every hot pulse of Colossus inside him and his own body spasmed and his vision blurred as heat seared along his nerves. Teeth sank into his neck and Wade shattered one last time.  
  
Wade collapsed to his stomach trying to remember how to breathe. Idly, he wondered if the semen in his ass was made of metal too. The thought made his cock twitch and he wasn’t ready for that, so he tried not to think about it again. Colossus slumped like a puppet whose strings had been cut. Exhausted; more than physically. Wade couldn’t think about the _more_ either, there was too much _more_ of his own. And his body ached in a pleasant kind of way that he hadn’t experienced for this long since before his skin started looking like ground zero of a nuclear blast. Instead, he reached out to tug the larger man down to the bed and Colossus was probably the biggest little spoon ever in the history of cuddling, but that was alright. Wade still needed to finish cleaning his Deagles, but they could wait, and that was also alright, because some things were in fact better than his guns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really do hope you enjoyed reading this!  
> Please let me know if you did.

**Author's Note:**

> On Content: One could argue the dubiousness of the dubious consent, as Colossus is awake and completely capable of stopping Deadpool at any time. Same in regards to somnophilia. But, as Deadpool isn’t aware of that fact, I’ve included the tags to represent his perception of the events.  
> On Consent: Regardless of whether Deadpool’s choice of approach is successful in this bit of FICTION, please understand that touching people when they are unable to give or deny permission is never an acceptable behavior in real life.  
> On a Few Final Words: Many of the things you may read about in fiction are morally reprehensible, mentally/physically dangerous, and/or just plain unhealthy. This tends to be especially true in my works. I do not advocate illegal, morally reprehensible, or dangerous activities and behaviors.  
> On the other hand, I do advocate that anyone who is considering a non-illegal sex act they read about in fiction take the time to educate themselves about the potential dangers and safety factors involved in those activities, and preferably seek out the guidance of someone with both significant experience and knowledge in the area.  
> The bottom line is...  
> Fiction is fictional for a reason.  
> For everyone's sake, please do not ever make decisions about what to do in, or how to psychologically approach, your actual life based on things that you have read in fiction without running those ideas past a mental health professional first.
> 
> Your positive comments and kudos are so very dear to me.  
> Please be gentle. This was my very first bit of fanfic.


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